Give it up, Give it away

I didn't exactly keep up with the blog whilst I was away.  I hope to get back into the swing of things here and be consistent now that I'm back to a somewhat consistent schedule and knowledge of wi-fi hotspots to be used during my free time.  Looking back on my trip I am still surprised at how much I still desire material things or the seeming pull they seem to have over me.  I was beginning to be appalled at the desires I have for things on my way back from the trip, but there was something different.  This loathing or distaste was not really justified.  It was more or less self-imposed legalistic feelings based on a loose configuration of rules I had never officially setup for myself.

There was this idea in my head that I would not purchase a lot while I lived in the van.  I think that stemmed from a desire to save money, but also to live as bare bones as possible; however, that idea began to crush me.  This was brought to the forefront during my stay in New York.  It's not so much the desire for things that I despise (still not sure what my thoughts are about whether or not that desire is inherently right or wrong), but the desire to acquire and accumulate.  One of the reasons I found so much joy in giving away many of my possessions was that I had been bingeing and bingeing with now purge in my diet.  Bingeing is not healthy, nor is purging, but you have to start somewhere.  The purging I experienced in getting ready to live in the van liberated me from the idea that I needed to hold on to as much as I had.  I am admittedly still attached to certain belongings, but know I do not need them and could live quite well without them.  This is how I came to have joy in the purchases I made while in New York.  I also have been practicing for a while now the idea of when something is purchased to get rid of something like it.  I find this to be quite beneficial when purchasing clothes because it allows me to take an honest look at my clothing and say I really like this and would like to buy it and here's something I have, I wear it here and there, and in all honest could be rid of it.  So there's another little bag ready to be donated sitting in my car.