Absence

I have not been updating the blog nearly as much as I thought I would.  Some of that has logistical reasons: schedule is busy, internet is only available at certain places and times, material to blog about, etc.  Honestly though I do not want blogging about this experience to take time away from relationship with people or with God.  I do not want it to become an idol.  Suffice it to say I will blog when need be.

It's pretty incredible to have this week where a lot of people are not around.  It's allowing me to see pretty much for the first time what I can do with my free time.  I have felt very free to just move about and figure things out at times.  There is also a certain loneliness that comes with down time when nobody is available to hang out.  Those are definitely the moments when I feel most exposed.  When I feel like that is really who I am and what I really want to do with my time.  I can tell you it is difficult during those times to determine between resting and spending time with God.  Should those 2 be mutually exclusive?  I don't think they should be nor do they have to be.  There's some idea in my head though that keeps them that way most of the time and that's why I feel guilty resting.  Really it's silly that I think that based on different things I've read and know about resting in God.  Still it's difficult to see resting and spending time with God walking around hand in hand.